Does this mean I get a detention?

I have a very long day today, or at least longer than I'm used to: 9am-10pm. So when my alarm went off at 5:55am for my morning workout, I reset it and opted for an extra hour of sleep. Was that bad?

I am only supposed to run on alternate days with the c25k program and I know I was planning on a cardio session, so that's not a bad thing. But I really should have got in some resistance and strength work, which I am terrible at keeping up with. Hmm.

Meanwhile sleeping in on a work day felt very strange indeed. Skipping my workout felt like I was doing something 'naughty'... like ditching class or eating the last cookie. So I definitely feel more rested, but a little strange nonetheless. Almost like I should feel grateful for not getting caught. Or perhaps I didn't get away with it... we shall see.

So perhaps I need to find another solution. This is the first of many 13hour days ahead for me as I attempt something I've never done before: go to school full time AND work full time. And I plan on still eating right, getting enough exercise in, AND still trying to get enough sleep (that one might actually be the toughest come to think of it)

Looks like I have some scheduling and planning to do...

SIDENOTE: Woke up again last night in the middle of the night and found myself at the refrigerator. At first I thought it was not eating enough during the day but I am eating all the food on my plan, so perhaps it's a bad habit I need to break afterall...?

PS. Although if my food plan is 1700 calories and I'm burning about 400 in a workout doesn't that mean I'm only consuming around 1300 calories? Is that a good deficit or is 1700 already a deficit? Definitely a good question for my JC consultant on Thursday.

A Quickie For Friday

I seem to be wavering at the moment. Or at least it feels like it now that I have gone back to exercise only every second day (my muscles are telling me that they need a little rest, or is that a sign that I should push them harder?)

This is just a little note to say today I vow to only put things in my mouth of nutritional value. I will gorge myself on fruit and vegetables, and I will drink all my water. I will make sure that by the end of today my pedometer reads at least 8000.

Hanging in there. I think those rehearsals through me off a bit. I didn't so much binge as just eat at all the wrong times. But now I am back to my normal schedule, which is comforting. Comforting and a relief, and a little bit scary too.

Cause it means the only thing standing in my way is ME.

M.I.A. = B.A.D.

Yesterday was crazy. I ate well but felt like a bit of a slug because it was my day off between cardio days. I SHOULD have done some weights, but like I said, crazy! Plus my abs are sore from Tuesday's run.

Which reminds me, does anyone else get that? Sore abs from running I mean? Hey, I'm not complaining, it means they're getting a workout! I'm assuming my legs don't get sore from all those years of dancing but my core has become weak, and as we all know, your core/abs is your powerhouse. I just think it's a little odd that a run for most means sore legs (or just sore all over lol) and for me it means sore abs. Hmm.

Anyway, I remember yesterday missing being on twitter; it keeps me uber focused and almost anxious to go for a walk or eat a carrot or something of that nature.

Last night I ended up having a beer with friends after a long day (and it didn't lead to a cigarette! I am both pleased and very surprised how easy this quit has been!) but it did lead to a quick trip to MacDonald's on my way home! ARGH!!!! BAD!!!! B.A.D!!! As in Burger And Disaster!

I would hate to give this blog so much power (already!) as to say 'I didn't blog therefore I binged' because I think my bad habits and mistakes on this weight loss journey have always been for multiple reasons, and never solely one reason. But I am suspicious, if I blogged yesterday (or at least been on twitter), would the trip to the Golden Arches occured?

I am yet to work out if this is a drinking habit, a end of a long day habit, a 'too long since dinner' thing, it could even be a 'at least it's not a cigarette' type action... or maybe all of the above. At any rate, I am going to crack this nutty habit wide open, and in the meantime, I am staying away from McFATS!!!!


SIDENOTE: To help combat excess calories I have been for my workout in the park this morning and I'm thinking today needs to be a bit of a detox: fruit, veggies, and a few wholegrains.

PS: Eating better and less drinking = complete lightweight now! Seriously, I used to be able to drink most people under the table. now 1-2 beers and I'm all tipsy. What the hell?? That's no fun! Ha! Talk about a cheap date.

Nice People Finish Fat

I am trying to leave behind my freelance career in theatre and live events for a number of reasons. One of the main reasons being it was a big contributor to making me fat!

Any job that consumes your life is bound is make your health take a little tumble. But long hours, combined with late/"non-traditional hours, combined with your JOB is to put everyone else's needs before your own.... well, that's not a tumble. It's a freaking avalanche of a weight gain waiting to happen! But ultimately, the problem is being too NICE. Case in point:

"Oh sure, I'll do that for you (during my dinner break meaning that all I will have time for is to 'grab something' especially since by that point I will be starving and pressed for time)"

OR...

"I can work on that tonight at home (which will keep me up way too late which will inevitably lead to Forth Meal, which leads to no breakfast (or working out), which leads to... my fat ass!)"

You get the idea. I'm not saying I have to learn how to be a bitch, but OMG would it pay off to learn how to not be so NICE!

One of my closest friends and someone I have worked with before called me tonight. He desperately needs a stage manager just for 3 nights next week to fill in. I look at my schedule. Clear as day. I could totally fit it in around 'work' and 'gym' which were the only things on the agenda for those days.

But fear gripped me. This is how I got fat in the first place! Taking on too much, working late, being too tired to exercise or eat right, not to mention it is an industry that is filled with way too many landmines of bad habits for me. My instant reaction was to say no. Why tempt fate?

But then I reconsidered. I cannot spend my life running away from my fears and old habits. I know in advance therefore I have an advantage and can plan around this. Plus, he is a very good friend, and I would love to work with him again (even if it is only 3 days). So I accepted.

Luckily, he is also a good friend, so like any good eat-a-holic, I enlisted his help. I told him my concern is that working late might mean not going to the gym in the morning because I'm tired, or that working all day and heading straight to rehearsal will mean fast food, or worse, both could happen. But I told him that I cannot let that happen. I am not sure what help I wanted from him other than for him to listen, and for me to say it out loud.

It worked. I felt a surge of confidence that I can do this. It's only three little days. Take it one step at a time and above all else, especially for those three days, take care of myself.

PS. If you see less of me during those three days next week, it's because I'm prioritizing ;) As much as this blog ranks right up there, sleep and working out are more important (the way it should be!)

NOTE TO SELF: Come up with strong a fail-safe, loophole-proof, three day plan.

SIDENOTE: I should totally be in bed, but creating this blog and today starting my twitter page, has given me so much motivation. The people I've discovered and met so far, and the idea that this time next year I could be a weight that I haven't been for nine years is all so inspirational. I couldn't bear the thought of going to bed without sharing my little 'I stared Fear in the face and said "You're on. Bring it!"' moment.

Sweet dreams gorgeous guys and girls! xox