I'm Walking Away

My Leslie Sansone DVDs have arrived!

I finally saved up the cash & remembered to hit amazon.com and ordered 3 of them. Free shipping too! (Because who pays for shipping these days, really!)

So here we go! No more excuses...

Daylight Savings ended & it's dark out all the time? Solved!
No space in teeny NYC apartment? Solved!
No exercise equipment? Solved!

Even the time crunch is solved because even just a mile will do wonders. Especially if it's in the morning. It will fire up my metabolism at the start of the day and as long as I eat consistantly and in small portions, and drink lots of water, I'm able to keep it burning at maximum rate. And hey, just a mile at whatever point in the day is better than nothing!

I only have 1 Leslie Sansone walking DVD and that I got as a freebie when I was still with Nutrisystem. But I knew that if this was truly the best solution for me then I was going to need options. Lots and lots of variety options!

I got the Walk At Home* series; they seemed to be the latest (because I can't stand out of date aerobic music) and the cheapest too (I'm a student again, cheaper is better!). I got:

-- 5 Mile Fat Burning Walk: Because 5 miles gives me the most options for if I want to do 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 miles plus who doesn't want to burn fat?!

-- 5 Day Slim Down: This is 5 separate 1-mile workouts. I'm a realist; chances are most mornings I'm only going to have time for 1 mile. So the more options, the better!

-- Walk Your Belly Flat: This one is only 3 miles but it includes ab work and you all know how much I obsess over not only wanting a flat belly but strong abs! (the only other DVD workout series I've invested in is Hip Hop Abs which I LOVE, but unfortunately no longer have the space since I moved into this apartment. Unless I tip my bed on it's side & push it against the wall. While yes, this would also be a good workout in itself, it's just a pain in the friggin' butt and I don't love hip hop abs THAT much as to massacre my bedroom on a daily basis)

So now I'm all set!

Oh, and I did one mile this morning. So can I just say... YAY!!! After weeks of setting my alarm only to hit snooze, this morning I FINALLY got up when the alarm went off AND worked out (I say "AND worked out" because the number of times I did get up without hitting snooze but instead of working out had an extra cup of coffee is ridiculous). GO ME! :D

But now that my new DVDs have arrived, I am anxious to get home & try them out!

Warning: I may be sore tomorrow so brace yourself for some potential whining about it. But I promise it will only be sprinkled in between how great I feel and how on track I am.

PS. I'm at work right now & every hour I am doing 20 modified push ups up against the wall behind me. I'm so proud of me right now. It's rare that I'm feeling so motivated - gotta run with it!

*I feel like I've heard a lot about her Walk Away the Pounds series. Is there a major difference? I'm guessing not, but if there is, anyone care to fill me in? I'm sure I will end up buying all her DVDs anyway, but any comments or advice on any of her DVDs or something similar would be really appreciated. Thanks muchly!

Gimme a 1...!!!!

Gimme a 0...!!!
Gimme a 5...!!!
Gimme a I.N.3.6.5...!!!

Sometimes I wonder where this enthusiastic cheerleader comes from. My new-found twitter friends have noticed it. My good friends on the NS boards back in the day would always comment on it too. But why don't I feel like I am that cheerleader that everyone else seems to see?

Truthfully, most of the time these days I feel as though I'm treading water. Except my head is only just above the water, I'm spluttering a little as sometimes I bob under a little, and my muscles are exhausted from treading water for so long only there's no boat, no land, no help in sight. Nothing to do but keep treading. (wow, I really like that analogy... I just came up with that as my fingers typed my 'as they come to me' thoughts.. wow. tres impressed with myself if I do say so myself!)

I am reminded of when my mother gives me "helpful" reminders. 'Just remember you don't want to return to your former size' or 'be careful at that birthday party. Probably best if you skip the cake and wine'. I know she loves me and she's trying to help, but she just isn't helping.

The thing is I think those sorts of thoughts all on my own. I really do not need her help with those. What I need from her is support. And not fake support either since that really isn't her style, or I guess mine either for that matter. But I need her to dwell on the positive because I sure as hell am dwelling on the negative enough for the both of us.

Simple changes like 'Just keep doing what you're doing. The scale will catch up' or 'Enjoy catching up with all those friends you haven't seen in a while at the birthday party' is all it needs. But this post isn't about my mother (although don't worry, I have had a serious conversation with her about this example mentioned; and I am sure there will be many solely-mum reports in the future)

The point is I do not like to write frequently about how scared I am that this won't work. Or what happens if I don't lose 105lbs in the next year. Or how painfully aware I am how VERY easily I could take one slip (albeit one MASSIVE slip, but nonetheless ,still a slip) and end up back where I started at roughly 336lbs and a size 25 jeans.

So I psych myself up. I cheer myself on. I try get all Jillian Michaels on my a$$. I think about how amazing it will be WHEN I succeed - anything from resisting snacks at the movie theatre to wogging 5k again.

Besides, does Negative Nelly really help anyone (Actually, I'm serious! I would love to hear from anyone who uses Negative Nelly to motivivate them and how/why that works). I am sure remaining positive cheers other people up, and perhaps if I motivate others, then they will motivate me. (Why I can't just motivate myself in the first place I have no idea)

Essentially, I just find it very curious that this is the vibe I give off when it was not my conscious intention at all. Don't get me wrong, Enthusiasm is a great compliment, and I'm so happy to be getting that comment time and time again. I just wonder where it comes from when the majority of the time I'm treading water (refer back to awesome analogy earlier!)

Or maybe this is just a huge case of FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT.

Because if experience is anything to go by, if I am patient and stick with it... if it talks like a cheerleader, sounds like a cheerleader, and acts like a cheerleader, then maybe eventually I'll actually believe I AM a cheerleader! Afterall, I am my own biggest fan.

And you should be your own biggest fan too!

SIDENOTE: And maybe one day, I'll be the size of a cheerleader too! OK, not of those freskishly teeny, still-hasn't-developed, throw 20ft in the air ones, but maybe one of the "base" ones would be nice.

Here We Go!

As I woke up this morning and went about my morning routine, I couldn't shake the feeling that I needed more accountability as I continue along this sometimes treacherous, but always rewarding, weight loss journey of mine.

When I was with Nutrisystem, I had my online friends and the message boards to keep me accountable. Currently at Jenny Craig, I have my ever-supportive consultant whom I love to pieces, but will be leaving the center for another job soon (that's for another post). While I plan on continuing on with Jenny Craig, I can't help feeling I need more accountability. I need to be held responsible. Hell, I need someone there 24/7 because let's face it, this journey IS a 24/7 commitment.

The only person who can be there for me that often is me. So here I am. Ready to throw my fears, accomplishments, successes, and faults into the deep, dark, cyber void.

I don't claim to know it all (even though after 10+ years of dieting it may seem on occasion like I think I do!), but I do know what works for ME. At least, I'm trying to ensure that I really DO know what works best for me. All I know is I have been fully committed to this goal for two years now, and ultimately have plateaued for the past year.

That needs to change...

Starting right now!