Pride

I remember the mantra I used when I started on this journey: 'Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.' and wow did it work!

But as you progress along your journey, you change much more than you realize. You need to constantly reassess and check-in with yourself. Are you motivated by the same reasons? Do you want the same things? Quite often the things that used to give you trouble and challenge you no longer do, and you are faced with a whole new set of obstacles to overcome.

It's been a while since I've found a good mantra or some sort of succinct saying that will inspire me or help me in a time of need or both. Or maybe I got too over-confident and thought I didn't need one. It's hard to know you need to get back to basics when you KNOW the basics; it's difficult to really feel them for the first time again.

I like the idea of every day being filled with choices and every choice is an opportunity to take a step closer to your goal. Just like when I quit smoking and you're supposed to break it down as much as possible. 'One day at a time' is common however sometimes that's even too much, and you need to take it one moment at a time. Every moment when you choose not to smoke is another step closer to your goal. I realized I should see what happens if I apply the same strategy to my weight loss.

Flipping back through my journal, I noticed a pattern. I love giving myself kudos for good decisions. Sure, I write down the bad and reprimand myself also, but the ones that pop are my successes. It occured to me: I'm proud of those decisions. So on Monday in big bold letters I wrote across the top of the page of my journal:

BE PROUD OF YOUR CHOICES.

I didn't limit myself. I told myself that if I must eat chocolate, go for it, but be proud of it. Honestly? Eating chocolate at this point wouldn't make me proud so I didn't. On Monday I had a great day because I was mindful of every choice. I won't lie, I had cravings or little evil thoughts about how great a soda would be or what if I grabbed that cookie with my coffee but I wouldn't be proud of it so I found myself quite calmly deciding no. I didn't pout or feel deprived (like I sometimes do!) Quite simply by keeping in mind every decision counts, making the unhealthy choice just didn't seem worth it.

When I look at the bigger picture and maybe I have a 14-hour day planned and meetings and homework and social obligations.... OF COURSE a cookie seems like a good idea! A little comfort, a little incentive to get through the day (don't laugh, I'm sure I have used something to this extent to validate an unhealthy choice all the time).

But when you just look at the moment: to cookie or not to cookie? That is the question. Will it make me happy? Will I regret it after? Will I be proud of that decision? Um, no. The answers to those questions are no, yes, no. Suddenly, making the healthier decision is actually quite easy. So I decided to use it again on Tuesday. And again, it worked wonders. And I plan on using it again today.

So I think I finally found a mantra that works for me again. And it feels great.

Dare I say, I'm quite proud of myself for having found it ;)

Day 12

Sweet Success... woke up and - get this! - I was actually EXCITED to make another day filled with good decisions! How awesome is that?! I woke up, got excited about having another perfect or near-perfect day, smiled, and thought 4.2. That's literally what went through my mind. I'm so thrilled that a switch somewhere in my head has been flipped. Now to nurture and take care of it! (Oh, and I did 10,039 steps today. Yay!)

Slowly Striving... had 2 beers tonight. I caught up with CSB because we both had to go to the Apple Store (I needed an extra sensor for my Nike+ shoes so I don't have to keep swapping the 1 sensor between the 2 pairs of shoes) plus I got to meet his friends and roomies. Great bunch of guys! Had so much fun that before I knew it I was ordering a second beer (and the first beer told me that it was OK to drink it anyway).

Thoughts... I am not AS disappointed about the beers as I would usually be because I had a great day despite those extra +/- 300 calories. Besides which, I hit a lot of steps today and fully intend on doing a little extra moving tomorrow to compensate for the extra calories. I did the crime, so I gotta do the time! And overall, nothing is bringing me down after waking up in such an amazing mood. I don't remember the last time I woke up excited about weight loss. And actually looking forward to the great feeling you get with each and every healthy decision you make. It's like that feeling is a drug, and overnight I had become an addict. I had to have more! Truthfully, some mornings I'd rather sleep cause I'm not consuming calories OR having to make decisions while I sleep! But not today, today I woke up ready to take on the world! There's no better feeling :)

Strong Like Donkey Kong!

Today is Day 11 of being cigarette free! It's actually quite unbelievable how few cravings I've had this time round. Plus I recall the weeks leading up to my quit I wasn't enjoying smoking anymore. I was lighting up because of my addiction and not because I actually wanted the cigarette and hating every puff yet I couldn't help it. It's a good thing. I'm pretty sure that means I was finally completely ready to quit!

none the less, I will continue on with my timeline...

5 - 8 days ✔ Check!
The "average" ex-smoker will encounter an "average" of three cue induced crave episodes per day. Although we may not be "average" and although serious cessation time distortion can make minutes feel like hours, it is unlikely that any single episode will last longer than 3 minutes. Keep a clock handy and time them.
10 days ✔ Check!
The "average ex-user is down to encountering less than two crave episodes per day, each less than 3 minutes.
10 days to 2 weeks Stand By...
Recovery has likely progressed to the point where your addiction is no longer doing the talking. Blood circulation in our gums and teeth are now similar to that of a non-user.

For full list and the link, click here.

No Rest For the Wicked

Another week 1 of c25k this morning. It was much easier this time. I think it's because I KNOW I can do it (although you never know... maybe getting fitter might have something to do with it too)

I couldn't help noticing the number of dog owners/walkers and a lot less runners/walkers. I guess cause it's a Saturday. They're all giving themselves a little sleep in. Meanwhile I did the crime so I must do the time!

Yet another reason to stay away from fast food: If I stay away I will let myself sleep in!



PS. I found myself coughing a lot. At first I thought I was having a strange bout of allergies. Then I realized more likely it's my lungs cleaning themselves of gunk. Now that I've quit smoking (today is day 11) they're finally able to cleanse and heal. Both good and gross. But I'm pretty sure exercise is supposed to speed up that whole process too, so it's a good thing all round!

M.I.A. = B.A.D.

Yesterday was crazy. I ate well but felt like a bit of a slug because it was my day off between cardio days. I SHOULD have done some weights, but like I said, crazy! Plus my abs are sore from Tuesday's run.

Which reminds me, does anyone else get that? Sore abs from running I mean? Hey, I'm not complaining, it means they're getting a workout! I'm assuming my legs don't get sore from all those years of dancing but my core has become weak, and as we all know, your core/abs is your powerhouse. I just think it's a little odd that a run for most means sore legs (or just sore all over lol) and for me it means sore abs. Hmm.

Anyway, I remember yesterday missing being on twitter; it keeps me uber focused and almost anxious to go for a walk or eat a carrot or something of that nature.

Last night I ended up having a beer with friends after a long day (and it didn't lead to a cigarette! I am both pleased and very surprised how easy this quit has been!) but it did lead to a quick trip to MacDonald's on my way home! ARGH!!!! BAD!!!! B.A.D!!! As in Burger And Disaster!

I would hate to give this blog so much power (already!) as to say 'I didn't blog therefore I binged' because I think my bad habits and mistakes on this weight loss journey have always been for multiple reasons, and never solely one reason. But I am suspicious, if I blogged yesterday (or at least been on twitter), would the trip to the Golden Arches occured?

I am yet to work out if this is a drinking habit, a end of a long day habit, a 'too long since dinner' thing, it could even be a 'at least it's not a cigarette' type action... or maybe all of the above. At any rate, I am going to crack this nutty habit wide open, and in the meantime, I am staying away from McFATS!!!!


SIDENOTE: To help combat excess calories I have been for my workout in the park this morning and I'm thinking today needs to be a bit of a detox: fruit, veggies, and a few wholegrains.

PS: Eating better and less drinking = complete lightweight now! Seriously, I used to be able to drink most people under the table. now 1-2 beers and I'm all tipsy. What the hell?? That's no fun! Ha! Talk about a cheap date.

Inhale The Fresh Air!

As I was replying to a comment (Thank you again MizFit!) I noticed something when I listed off a little list of my history of quitting smoking...

quit: March-Sep 2008
back on the cancer sticks in Oct 2008
quit: Nov 2008 - March 2009
asking for lung cancer April-July 2009
quit: August 5, 2009... FOR GOOD! :)

Both times when I turned back to smoking, I was unemployed and job hunting (ahh, the joys of freelance, contractual work!). Turns out, I'm a stress smoker!

I'm rather pleased with this little discovery. Although it does mean I have a harder job than the boredom smokers out there. If you smoke out of boredom, you just need something to keep you busy, a quick little task, anything, until the craving subsides. But stress? How do you handle that? (Evidently I am better at curing the boredom blues than the stress jitters)

I think the best stress less/overcome a craving technique for me in general is 'breathe and reboot'. Take 5 deep breaths and clear your mind. Then do it again. Keep doing it until you've calmed down & can see the bigger picture (or at least have removed yourself one step back from the immediate picture)

Of course a one hour deep tissue massage never goes astray either.

What's your best stress buster technique?

100% Nicotine Free!

Recovery Timetable (for cold turkey quitters)


Within ...

20 minutes ✔ Check!
Your blood pressure, pulse rate, and the temperature of your hands and feet will all return to normal.
8 hours ✔ Check!
Remaining nicotine in your bloodstream will have fallen to 6.25% of normal peak daily levels, a 93.25% reduction.
12 hours ✔ Check!
Your blood oxygen level will have increased to normal and carbon monoxide levels will have dropped to normal.
24 hours ✔ Check!
Anxieties peak and within two weeks should return to near pre-cessation levels.
48 hours ✔ Check!
Damaged nerve endings have started to regrow and your sense of smell and taste are beginning to return to normal. Cessation anger and irritability peaks.
72 hours ✔ Check!
Your entire body will test 100% nicotine-free and over 90% of all nicotine metabolites (the chemicals it breaks down into) will now have passed from your body via your urine. Symptoms of chemical withdrawal have peaked in intensity, including restlessness. The number of cue induced crave episodes will peak for the "average" ex-user. Lung bronchial tubes leading to air sacs (alveoli) are beginning to relax in recovering smokers. Breathing is becoming easier and the lungs functional abilities are starting to increase.
5 - 8 days Stand By...
The "average" ex-smoker will encounter an "average" of three cue induced crave episodes per day. Although we may not be "average" and although serious cessation time distortion can make minutes feel like hours, it is unlikely that any single episode will last longer than 3 minutes. Keep a clock handy and time them.

For full list and the link, click here.

Do I Need to Get All Jillian Michaels On My Ass?

Question:

I currently workout 30 minutes a day 6 times a week. That's 3 cardio sessions and 3 weights session on alternating days with one day off a week to rest.

But! I have been doing this for 2 weeks religiously now, and while my muscles are a little sore and are definitely getting a workout, I am not seeing a result on the sclae.

Now, I am the FIRST to say 'Good God girl! Only 2 weeks??? Patience petal, it will happen!!!... Sheesh" however, it got me thinking...

Firstly that usually embarking on a new routine is a shock to the system and therefore some sort of immediate signs of progress while not expected are always nice. But i'm thinking thanks to my typical 5lb weight gain before that time of the month PLUS that I'm quitting smoking is going to make my efforts through exercising take a little longer to show.

Secondly, I am wondering that even if I wasn't bloated up and feeling like a floatation device, and even if I wasn't a recovering nicotine junkie, is 30 minutes 6 times a week enough to see substantial weight loss?

Part of me says yes, because it's always worked in the past. But maybe that's the problem. Whenever I stick with a workout regime it's always been 30min 6x/wk. Do I need to be pushing myself harder?

Especially if my weight is not really going down, could upping the amount of exercise help kick me out of maintainence-meanderings and back into some losing-lovin'?? Or would it do more harm than good?

I remember reading somewhere that Jillian Michaels said if you are serious about losing you need a make a commitment to 60 minutes a day (obviously if you have to break that up, that's fine too) I think it was in her first book , Winning By Losing, that I read that but I'm not positive.

I'm not sure what the right answer is even if there is a 'right' answer. Maybe I just need to push myself harder in general? Maybe just increase the cardio to 45 or 60 minutes a session? Maybe wait till I debloat and see if there's a difference? Hmm... Questions, questions...

Any advice?

Every Day is a Fresh Start!

Quitting smoking + PMS = BINGE HELL!!!!

I have had a lazy day or so. Quitting smoking has sucked the energy right out of me. All I have felt capable of doing is sleeping and eating and staring at the wall. I managed to pull it together a little more yesterday as I finally got to see my guy again (with both of us so crazy busy and opposite schedules in 'distant' locations (ie. different boroughs haha) it's like being in a long distance relationship in a way. Neither of us seem to mind though, in fact it actually works really well, but that's for another post) which put me in a much better mood in general. But the best part is it also kicked my butt back into gear! Can't get slack now! Gotta keep at it!

So! New day = New Start! Woke up a little later than I would have liked but still got 20 minutes of running in. Instead of the gym, I went to the park today which is actually nice at 7am on a Saturday. No screaming kids or dogs galore, just a whole bunch of runners and walkers and the occasional fattie also trying to shed some weight(*raises hand* ooh! ooh! right here! that'd be me!) I love that little knowing nod or smile you give each other; you both know why you're out there.



Haven't had breakfast yet but going to fix that right now... yogurt and fresh fruit... YUM!

Yep, today is off to a good start. Don't you just love how every day really can be a fresh new beginning!?! (OK, coffee + boy time + exercise = waaay too chipper! I'm even getting annoyed by me! haha)

NOTE TO SELF: I'm still learning to stay on track, but the good news is I'm dusting myself off and getting back on the weight loss wagon much sooner every time... and spending less time laying in the dirt whining that I fell off again.

iLose with Lose It!

If you have an iPhone or an iPod Touch, then you know exactly what I'm talking about.

These things ROCK at helping you with all sorts of goals; case in point, my favorite app: Lose It!

Not only is this app FREE (the best apps in life are free!) but here are the other spiffy features:
-- it tracks your weight
-- has a food diary with an extensive list built in as well as the ability to add your own recipes that include portion size, calorie amount, and nutritional information if you wish to activate that too
-- an exercise log where again it has a library as well as allowing you to enter your own activities
-- a "My Day" page where it shows you your calorie budget, how much you've eaten minus how much you've burned, and your net calories for the day (it will work out your calorie budget based on your goal and how much you want to lose per week, and again, you can adjust it if you wish).

This little app is fantastic! Highly recommended!

SIDENOTE: Another great app is the free app "Cold Turkey" which has a very cool "Help I Feel Like Smoking!" button which will give you all sorts of advice or facts to help you focus when a craving strikes. I'm on Day 2 now; I woke this morning and thought I was on day 4 - no joke. Urrrg. Well, the night is darkest before the dawn.... and from past experience, day 2 is as black as it gets!

The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly

The good? I have survived Day 1 of not smoking! Plus I still went to the gym and got in some cardio.

The bad? I am a mess. I need a distraction yet I can't focus on anything long enough for it to really distract me. The nap helped. But I can't nap the whole time!

The ugly? I decided it was OK to have some m&m's because it is better than smoking. Very, Very, VERY bad decision! Now, not only do I feel guilty as hell (they didn't even taste that good!) but I feel a little ill, and I can't even have a cigarette to take away the icky feeling (it usually helps). ARGH!


The solution? I am going for a walk around the block to clear my head. Maybe it will help.

Hanging in there. I know from experience the second 24hours is much worse than the first (Oh Jebus help me!)

Welcoming Withdrawals

The day has finally come for me to quit smoking.

Again.

I am a cold turkey believer. Once you get the the first 1-3 days out of the way the nicotine is out of your system and it really does get much easier after that. Besides, you're already AT your goal! How can you not love that?? You've already stopped smoking! You're not still feeding yourself with tiny doses of nicotine whether it be through the patch or gum or even gradually cutting back on cigarettes. YOU ARE KEEPING YOUR BODY IN A STATE OF WITHDRAWAL YOU CRAZY PEOPLE! YOU ARE TORTURING YOURSELF! YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF WITHDRAWALS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE SO YOU CAN FOCUS ON HEALING!!!

Ahem, sorry about that. Flares in my temper are actually one of the smaller symptoms for me. Mostly I am just extremely tired (because nicotine is a stimulant) and really hungry (because I want the hand-to-mouth action as well as my blood sugar levels are probably dropping and/or going haywire). So I am a little concerned what this might to do my diet in the short term. Even though long term I know this is the best thing for me.

So this long-winded babble is an apology in advance. So I'm sorry. I don't know what I'll be like in the next 3 days. If I'm around at all (Inability to concentrate is another lovely withdrawal symptom of mine.)

THREE DAY PLAN OF ACTION:
1.) Do not smoke
2.) Lots of water, fresh fruit and veggies
3.) deep breaths, relax, I can do this!
4.) Sleep if I need to, my body is trying to heal afterall :)
5.) Replace cravings with exercise. Go for a walk and clear my head. Hell, it's the best '3 for the price of 1' deal:
              i.) Walking/exercise to distract me from the craving
              ii.) the exercise will help offset any quit smoking weight gain (from no longer having the stimulant to speed up your metabolism)
              iii.) more exercise might even equal more weight loss



OK. Deep breath. Here we go!!!



PS: This is my 4th quit in the last 18 months. Everyone's quit is different, and I can even vouch that even the same individual can have different experiences for different quits. The above are facts that pertain to ME. If you're looking for some cold turkey info though, please visit www.whyquit.com. In my opinion, it is the best site out there. (Although please feel free to recommend other cold turkey sites, I'd love to hear about them!)

SIDENOTE: Non-smokers giving quit smoking advice bugs the CRAP out of me. If you've never had a nicotine addiction, I do not want to hear your opinion nor advice on the matter. If you must get involved politely offer your support and leave it at that. You trying to offer advice or tell me about your friends' sister's husband's quit, just makes me want a cigarette more because you are pissing me off. I realize you're trying to help, but you can't. So just stop. Please. I beg you.

DID YOU KNOW? Studies have shown that nicotine just might be more addictive than cocaine or heroin.