My New Best Friend

I can't believe I forgot to mention this sooner! I have a new best friend. I'm not sure what its name is yet, and I'm not even sure if it's a he or a she (leaning towards a she) but it's a new notebook/planner/dairy that I bought specifically for weight loss. (And yes, I fully intend on naming it eventually!)

I tried a few different iPod apps for recording everything. There are some amazing apps out there and they work great! But they can't replace the organic feel of writing by putting pen to paper. And as much as they are more convenient for me, I cannot connect to it & feel it in the way that I should.

I love writing down plans and thoughts and ideas in pretty colours with fun pens. Depending on my mood and what I'm writing reflects in my penmanship and for me that's important. Whether I like it or not, this is an emotional journey so it's not just about writing everything down; it's writing it all down and feeling it and understanding it too.

Forgive me if I'm repeating myself, but I used to keep a scrapbook. A big letter-sized sketchbook that I would write in, doodle in, clip pictures that caught my eye, or print articles that I read. I would vent into it ("Why oh why did I have those cocktails?!?!") and I would rejoice as well ("I lost 10lbs in a month! Goal weight here I come!!") Obviously being as big as it was it was only something I did at night or when I was home, and somewhere in the midst of moving, graduating (from my last degree), it was a habit that fell by the wayside.

I've been hesitant to start a mini-version of this for two main reasons: 1.) because I don't want the hassle of constantly carrying something around with me (hence why the iPod Touch apps are so incredibly efficient) and 2.) I don't want to create extra work for myself. I'm scared it will turn into work, not fun.

Thankfully, both of these are solvable! It's not a hassle to carry it around because as a student (again), I am constantly carrying around books. One extra book that's only 5"x7" isn't a problem (in fact, should I switch to a purse for the day it still wouldn't be an issue. I used to be a minimalist but these days my purse is much more 'everything but the kitchen sink'). Secondly, to keep it fun I need a fun notebook (I have a thing for nice stationary. Nice notebooks, pens, post its, etc. It's my thing! It makes me happy) If I like the book, I'll want to write in it and read it. So my mission last Friday was to find the perfect notebook.

As a stationary fanatic, I know that finding the perfect notebook is a tricky business. I'm extremely picky about the cover, binding, the layout, everything! I braced myself knowing I might not find what I'm looking for straight away. But I guess it was meant to be. I found it! The perfect size, spiral bound, lots of room to write as well as keeping everything in order. It's actually a planner (I was prepared to just buy a regular blank notebook) and the layout of the pages works so well for my purposes, and the cover is fun and colorful and makes me want to write in it with my pretty pink pen! You probably all think I'm a bit nuts right now but I don't care! :D

So far, I have written in it every day since I got it, sometimes more than others but nonetheless I'm determined to make it a daily habit. They say it takes 21 days to create a habit so 1 week down, 2 to go!

Besides daily events and ponderings it's already filled with a new list a mini-goal rewards, quotes, important thoughts that I should be thinking, and inspiring pictures I've stuck in. I'm sure I'll be sharing more of it with you!

So between my new best friend and my blog, I think my creative & emotional side has a great outlet to help me work through things and succeed on this journey. And I can't forget my lovely readers who post comments that always brighten my day and make me feel so humble that you took the time to stop by!

Sidenote: I am in cramp hell and yet writing and getting excited about my new bestie is making me feel better! I am not stepping on the scale this week though; I don't want to know the number. Besides, bloated weights don't count! I don't need to feel depressed about it when it's all going to go back to normal in 4-5 days time.

PS. In case you're wondering what notebook I got, it's a Quo Vadis TextAgenda Diary (the student version because it runs Sep'09-Aug'10. Perfect because a) I can't wait till Jan 2010 to start if I got a regular planner and b) *technically* I should be at goal or near it by Aug 2010!). I got the day to a page which is perfect. There's a section at the top for 'priorities' and I like using that for my 'goal of the day'. then a matching section at the bottom for notes which I like to use for whether or not I achieved my goal for the day. All the space in between is perfect for random notes, questions, off-plan foods, thoughts that pop up throughout the day.

It's just like I imagined, only better!

I almost didn't post today. My new work schedule has meant that Wednesday is typically my lazy day. My 'do whatever I want' day.

Now this doesn't mean a hiatus from my diet or exercise plans, but it does mean a little vacation from responsibility for a day. No bill paying, no money-worrying, no meetings, no phone calls to make, no errands to run. Nothing but whatever I FEEL like doing. However, blogging felt like the one "responsibility" that it feels wrong to take a break from. So here I am.

I have been throwing around ideas about Hawaii for Thanksgiving. It's the next time I'll be able to get away if I so choose, and to be honest, it probably won't happen. But I think I'll keep that little fact a secret from myself. Why? Because the moment I started to really picture it, I suddenly found myself a) wishing I could be swimsuit ready by then, and b) calculating exactly how much time there is between now and then and thinking of realistic yet challenging goals to fit the time frame.

The point is I haven't felt that kind of motivation in a while. I am not sure when I stopped setting mini-goals like that for myself, but it's definitely time to start again!

Sure, there are the post-event motivators ("that was fun but next time, I'm going to be THIS size!"), and there are rewards ("only 4 more workouts till my mani/pedi!") but there is nothing quite like focusing on a future event.

Deciding on a future event, picturing it, imagining it, how much fun it will be, how exciting it is. Then picture it 20lbs lighter. Or in a smaller dress size. WOW! Makes a huge difference doesn't it? Suddenly everything gets brighter, happier, and more hopeful. Suddenly skipping the cheese in your salad or getting in an extra walk is so effortless because that future goal is so real and so beautiful, you'll do what you have to to make it a reality.

So here I am. A little under 3 months from Thanksgiving, and I want to see what I can do! Because my weight is being such a little b**ch right now, I'm going to focus on size.

At LEAST one size smaller by November 26 2009.

I would love to say 2 sizes, but seeing as my weight and size don't move much these days I want to keep it realistic. So one size smaller is my red velvet cake. Two sizes smaller is the creamy rich icing on top. (three sizes is the sprinkles, the whipped cream, some vanilla ice cream, chocolate fudge drizzled on top along with some fresh cut strawberries; and taking a photo of the whole damned cake instead of eating it in fear of undoing all the hard work of losing three dress sizes in the first place!)

Maybe the reason I stopped picking future events to focus on is that my social life isn't as happening these days (by choice), so there aren't as many events to plan on and look forward to, but the why/what/how's of that are for another post.

PS. I just downloaded the Lose Weight with Andrew Johnson app onto my iPod Touch. Now, I know this guy is good to relax to because I've used his free Relaxation app and every single time I fall asleep within 10 minutes! And as someone who usually lies awake for 30-60minutes, that's really saying something! (Plus you gotta love that sexy Scottish accent of his... Mmmm...) I hate paying for apps but I figured if he doesn't help me lose weight, he'll definitely help me get to sleep! Only done it once so far, but gotta say I haven't had any cravings today and of all things, I had the incredible urge to cook. ME! Cook! HA!!! (The only thing I make successfully in the kitchen is a mess. And several small fires) So I don't know whether to attribute that to the Sexy Scottish Hypnosis Relaxation sounds I drifted to sleep to, or if the stars were aligned, or if it was just some random occurrence. Time will tell. I've always been a little curious about hypnosis and the subconscious when it comes to dealing with addictions, fears, and the like. I'll definitely keep you posted!

Run With It!

All these thoughts running through my head about running (no pun intended) Where to start?!

First off, I am in an excellent mood! Gotta love that endorphin rush post-workout! Like Elle Woods said, "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't."

Secondly, my big news! This morning I finally actually ran every single interval to completion for week 1 of the c25k program!! YAY ME! I have been pseudo doing c25k for a while now. I told myself I do not need to complete the program in nine weeks, I can - and should - take my time; and only move up to the next level when I can confidently say that I can complete the level I'm on and still be standing at the end of it.



I say 'pseudo doing c25k' because I have been on week 1 on and off ever since I started which was back on January 1st as a New Years Resolution! (OK, so I did give myself a bit of a deadline: Even though I instructed myself to take my time, I was pretty sure it was feasible to finish by the program by Dec 31 2009!)

Besides starting then stopping then having to start all over again and again (and again), I think it took me so long to get the hang of it because I was running wrong! Which would totally make sense why i couldn't do it before even though it is a program designed for beginners! I think there were two main things I was doing wrong: 1.) going too fast, and 2.) Too much bounce.

I thought about this last night as I was really lamenting my missing workout yesterday. Why do I have so much trouble running? After a little googling and a little 'tortoise and the hare' inspiration, I came up with those two major issues. I was excited for this morning because I was eager to test them out. And sure enough, jogging and staying low to the ground equals completing all intervals successfully!

I won't lie, towards the end of some of the intervals I wanted to die. But I just kept telling myself "JUST KEEP JOGGING". Even if I can WALK faster than I'm jogging (!!!) it doesn't matter. "JUST KEEP JOGGING". I kept wanting to walk an interval, but I kept telling myself 'just one more... just one more...'. Finally, I gave in and actually had made the decision that I am walking the next 'running interval'. But then the little voiceover came on and said it was my second last interval. Oh hell no! There was no way I could walk it now! And throw the towel in? Not be able to say I officially completed it? The end was in sight! I KNEW I could do it! And voila... looks like I did!

The other source of my surge of determination to do this was because I was starting to really question the whole 'you should still be able to have a conversation while working out' thing. You know, how to know if your heart rate is in optimum 'fat burning' mode. But after my little googling session on running, I was presented with a new theory. Our bodies are designed to run.

When it comes down to it our bodies have not evolved that much since the caveman era (that topic is definitely for another post! I could go on and on!). I read somewhere that if you want to lose weight, burn fat, get lean, etc. then run, don't walk. A running body is a lean body. The body is forced to shed unwanted layers of fat. Because it's more "aerodynamic" (hmm, I think I just fell in love with a new word! Say it with me now: "aerodynamic". Lovely) I know this is a very simple concept, but phrasing it in this way has really clicked for me for some reason. 'Running makes you lean'. When really, that is so obvious: have you ever seen a fat runner?

So new new concept is JUST RUN. Screw the 'you should still be able to have a conversation' concept. Run for your life! Be out of breath! Push it hard then push it harder! Suck air in through your eyeballs if you could cause you need it so badly! As Jillian Michaels would say "Unless You Puke, Faint or Die, Keep Going!"

PS. it's so nice to start the day with 'negative' calories. yay for running before breakfast!

SIDENOTE: just a little observation - I no longer need to frantically check the time during my commute. I will get there when I get there. No more 'will there be time for a cigarette before work?' wondering anymore!!!! Talk about liberating. How do smokers not realize they are walking around in their own mini-prison? Attached permanently to a ball and chain of their own making? Ahh... the joys of...

DAY 7 OF BEING SMOKEFREE!!!

iLose with Lose It!

If you have an iPhone or an iPod Touch, then you know exactly what I'm talking about.

These things ROCK at helping you with all sorts of goals; case in point, my favorite app: Lose It!

Not only is this app FREE (the best apps in life are free!) but here are the other spiffy features:
-- it tracks your weight
-- has a food diary with an extensive list built in as well as the ability to add your own recipes that include portion size, calorie amount, and nutritional information if you wish to activate that too
-- an exercise log where again it has a library as well as allowing you to enter your own activities
-- a "My Day" page where it shows you your calorie budget, how much you've eaten minus how much you've burned, and your net calories for the day (it will work out your calorie budget based on your goal and how much you want to lose per week, and again, you can adjust it if you wish).

This little app is fantastic! Highly recommended!

SIDENOTE: Another great app is the free app "Cold Turkey" which has a very cool "Help I Feel Like Smoking!" button which will give you all sorts of advice or facts to help you focus when a craving strikes. I'm on Day 2 now; I woke this morning and thought I was on day 4 - no joke. Urrrg. Well, the night is darkest before the dawn.... and from past experience, day 2 is as black as it gets!