My New Best Friend Part II

When I first mentioned my new best friend (of whom has still not been named! But she doesn't mind, she tags along with me whereever I go anyway), Jacey mentioned would I mind posting pictures. It would be a little personal, but definitely a good idea! Besides, I think they're too small for you guys to really read anything ;)

It's probably the reason I don't blog as much as I used to. Because all my little thoughts and discoveries get written down instead of typed up.

Things my bestie holds onto for me:

-- Calendars, countdowns, and graphs: There is of course a calendar in it which I use, as well as creating my own that I fold up & put in there. I have a weight loss graph that I also fold up and keep inside (which I've already posted previously) as well as my dream weight loss graph with future dates already colored in with how much I hope/plan to use!

-- My exchange list & weekly menu plan: The only food I actually write down is extra food. The food I am supposed to eat, all I have to do is cross it off. I keep my exchange list there also (I asked for more than one, and they are littered all over my apartment & various handbags, but there's always one in here so I know where to go if I really can't find one of the other ones!). Some exchanges I know like I know my phone number, others I need to double check.

-- article clippings & inspiring images: This is how my best friend is starting to get fat! Any quote, or article, or image that inspires, keeps me centered & balanced, or makes me think goes in there. When I'm at work and I need a little break, I flip through... there's always something for me to read or look at and disappear into my thoughts for 5 minutes (at this rate, I may need to include glue sticks in my monthly budget)

-- Boring notes that may prove useful. On the day-to-day pages, I like making little notes about how I'm feeling or factual stuff. You never know when they'll come in handy. Things like '3pm: starving, but I already ate!' or '9pm: much more tired today'. Or if I'm in a funk or angry or extremely happy, I'll list the reasons. When you look back, things like this can usually be explained. I love self-analyzing!

-- steps & goal weights. Every day I write my steps for the day & on a daily or weekly basis write down my weight and/or my goal loss that I want.

-- I write with a pen that makes me happy! It may be expensive, metallic, or just a fun color. Something that makes me take care and like what I'm looking at. As you can see, the flavour of the month is pink! I hate wearing pink, but when it comes to accessories or writing with it? I love it! GO PINK!

I think that covers everything! I'm also noticing my new bestie getting kinda chunky. But I think that's very cool. She will get fatter (and it looks good on her!) as I will get smaller! I think it's perfect.


Oh, and I almost forgot! Happy Turkey Day! I am thankful for...

-- my irreplaceable family and close friends who are scattered across the globe - it never ceases to amaze me how I can feel so loved and so close to a person who is on the other side of the country, the ocean, or the world.

-- my amazing guy - we are so dysfunctional by traditional standards and any outsiders looking in never understand it, but only him and I truly know what we have together. The view from the inside is bliss. It's difficult to admit when we are not official but I care for him deeply, (insert the L word in here somewhere), appreciate him, and he makes me incredibly happy and that's all that matters.

-- my fab tweeps on my two twitter accounts. I don't tweet on this account as often as I should but I'm always reading and I'm always inspired and motivated.

-- my weight loss - I'm thankful that I lost it, and thankful that I still have the determination to keep pushing and striving for this goal.

-- you guys! My dear readers. I am so humbled that you take the time out of your busy schedules to see what this imperfect, flawed little fattie is up to. I thank you for your patience with me, your encouragement, your comments, and just basically for reading! I think I love you lurkers the most ;)

-- New York City. I don't get out and enjoy it as often as I should, but I am so thankful I live in my dream city; the best place in the world that I feel lucky to call home sweet home.

PS. So to answer Jacey's question: there really is no typical layout for me! It's a whole bunch of scribbles and drawings and thoughts and pictures. I like the 'clutter of inpiration'. Usually I'm a neat freak, meticulous, and organized. But this journey is messy and I like my journal to reflect it :)

It's All About The Trust

I need to trust the process. I don't know if I'm having trouble putting trust in something or if it's self-sabotage, or maybe I haven't made a real connection as to WHY I need to put trust in the process... WHATEVER. The point is I need to trust it. Plain and simple. I may need to fake this one till I get the hang of it! Write everything down, cross everything off, and just trust that eating ALL your food and doing a little exercise everyday is all it takes! No calculations, substitutions, or guessing needed!

(My new notebook is helping, but I'm still not crossing off foods. I'm writing down off-plan foods & substitions, exercise, water, questions, & little thoughts, but not crossing foods off... not sure what that's about...)

“Believe in yourself, trust the process, change forever.”

- Bob Harper

Get Aggressive

I'm posting a quote I've already posted because I need to be reminded:

“To change one's life: start immediately. Do it flamboyantly. No exceptions.”

- William James

After my 4 beer disaster on the weekend, it's time to get aggressive. I used to say no to all social calories because I was *that* determined to succeed and you know what? It worked. I used to religiously cross everything off my food plan for the day and eat every single thing and you know what? It worked. It's time to get back to basics, get aggressive, and start wanting this more than anything else. Is that a reasonable attitude for the rest of this journey? I doubt it. But I think it's definitely doable for the next 7 weeks.

Social events come and go, life goes on. I am NOT missing out by saying no to alcohol or saying yes to healthy options only. I will admit, I've been known to say no to the social event altogether because I don't want to or I just don't have the strength to deal with a social situation, and for the next 7 weeks, I say that's OK too.

Something my JC consultant said really stuck (OK, a lot of things stick!) which was people who get angry or aggressive or frustrated usually make the most process. I agree. Because they are ready for change. They are ready to do what it takes. Even if this means making 'sacrifices'. I need to get 100% in that mindset again. I used to get there once upon a time. It felt great, empowering even. Now I want it back. I am going to fake it till I make it, but I will make it. I have to. I want this goal to work. It's been such a long time since I've made a good, solid mini-goal and I refuse to let this golden opportunity slip through my fingers.

My New Best Friend

I can't believe I forgot to mention this sooner! I have a new best friend. I'm not sure what its name is yet, and I'm not even sure if it's a he or a she (leaning towards a she) but it's a new notebook/planner/dairy that I bought specifically for weight loss. (And yes, I fully intend on naming it eventually!)

I tried a few different iPod apps for recording everything. There are some amazing apps out there and they work great! But they can't replace the organic feel of writing by putting pen to paper. And as much as they are more convenient for me, I cannot connect to it & feel it in the way that I should.

I love writing down plans and thoughts and ideas in pretty colours with fun pens. Depending on my mood and what I'm writing reflects in my penmanship and for me that's important. Whether I like it or not, this is an emotional journey so it's not just about writing everything down; it's writing it all down and feeling it and understanding it too.

Forgive me if I'm repeating myself, but I used to keep a scrapbook. A big letter-sized sketchbook that I would write in, doodle in, clip pictures that caught my eye, or print articles that I read. I would vent into it ("Why oh why did I have those cocktails?!?!") and I would rejoice as well ("I lost 10lbs in a month! Goal weight here I come!!") Obviously being as big as it was it was only something I did at night or when I was home, and somewhere in the midst of moving, graduating (from my last degree), it was a habit that fell by the wayside.

I've been hesitant to start a mini-version of this for two main reasons: 1.) because I don't want the hassle of constantly carrying something around with me (hence why the iPod Touch apps are so incredibly efficient) and 2.) I don't want to create extra work for myself. I'm scared it will turn into work, not fun.

Thankfully, both of these are solvable! It's not a hassle to carry it around because as a student (again), I am constantly carrying around books. One extra book that's only 5"x7" isn't a problem (in fact, should I switch to a purse for the day it still wouldn't be an issue. I used to be a minimalist but these days my purse is much more 'everything but the kitchen sink'). Secondly, to keep it fun I need a fun notebook (I have a thing for nice stationary. Nice notebooks, pens, post its, etc. It's my thing! It makes me happy) If I like the book, I'll want to write in it and read it. So my mission last Friday was to find the perfect notebook.

As a stationary fanatic, I know that finding the perfect notebook is a tricky business. I'm extremely picky about the cover, binding, the layout, everything! I braced myself knowing I might not find what I'm looking for straight away. But I guess it was meant to be. I found it! The perfect size, spiral bound, lots of room to write as well as keeping everything in order. It's actually a planner (I was prepared to just buy a regular blank notebook) and the layout of the pages works so well for my purposes, and the cover is fun and colorful and makes me want to write in it with my pretty pink pen! You probably all think I'm a bit nuts right now but I don't care! :D

So far, I have written in it every day since I got it, sometimes more than others but nonetheless I'm determined to make it a daily habit. They say it takes 21 days to create a habit so 1 week down, 2 to go!

Besides daily events and ponderings it's already filled with a new list a mini-goal rewards, quotes, important thoughts that I should be thinking, and inspiring pictures I've stuck in. I'm sure I'll be sharing more of it with you!

So between my new best friend and my blog, I think my creative & emotional side has a great outlet to help me work through things and succeed on this journey. And I can't forget my lovely readers who post comments that always brighten my day and make me feel so humble that you took the time to stop by!

Sidenote: I am in cramp hell and yet writing and getting excited about my new bestie is making me feel better! I am not stepping on the scale this week though; I don't want to know the number. Besides, bloated weights don't count! I don't need to feel depressed about it when it's all going to go back to normal in 4-5 days time.

PS. In case you're wondering what notebook I got, it's a Quo Vadis TextAgenda Diary (the student version because it runs Sep'09-Aug'10. Perfect because a) I can't wait till Jan 2010 to start if I got a regular planner and b) *technically* I should be at goal or near it by Aug 2010!). I got the day to a page which is perfect. There's a section at the top for 'priorities' and I like using that for my 'goal of the day'. then a matching section at the bottom for notes which I like to use for whether or not I achieved my goal for the day. All the space in between is perfect for random notes, questions, off-plan foods, thoughts that pop up throughout the day.

iLose with Lose It!

If you have an iPhone or an iPod Touch, then you know exactly what I'm talking about.

These things ROCK at helping you with all sorts of goals; case in point, my favorite app: Lose It!

Not only is this app FREE (the best apps in life are free!) but here are the other spiffy features:
-- it tracks your weight
-- has a food diary with an extensive list built in as well as the ability to add your own recipes that include portion size, calorie amount, and nutritional information if you wish to activate that too
-- an exercise log where again it has a library as well as allowing you to enter your own activities
-- a "My Day" page where it shows you your calorie budget, how much you've eaten minus how much you've burned, and your net calories for the day (it will work out your calorie budget based on your goal and how much you want to lose per week, and again, you can adjust it if you wish).

This little app is fantastic! Highly recommended!

SIDENOTE: Another great app is the free app "Cold Turkey" which has a very cool "Help I Feel Like Smoking!" button which will give you all sorts of advice or facts to help you focus when a craving strikes. I'm on Day 2 now; I woke this morning and thought I was on day 4 - no joke. Urrrg. Well, the night is darkest before the dawn.... and from past experience, day 2 is as black as it gets!

The Real Me Always Knows Best

6am: woke up

615am: yogurt and banana in my belly, preceeded to have the following arguement with myself...

Fat Me: But I don't wanna go to the gym!
Real Me: No! You're going!
Fat Me: But I don't feel like it. I'm so tired. I didn't get enough sleep.
Real Me: Just GO. Just get on the treadmill. 10 minutes of walking. If you still feel this way, I promise, I will let you off the hook.
Fat Me: Urrrrg...
Real Me: C'mon... otherwise you got up early for nothing.
Fat Me: OK, fine! But just 10 minutes. Then we're going to have another talk.

635am: On treadmill...

Fat Me: Oh, that wasn't so bad.
Real Me: See, I knew you could do it!
Fat Me: Honestly, I'm really not in the mood. But I'm here, so I might as well go for it. Hell, let's even do intervals.
Real Me: Awesome! You won't regret this. Even if you're sore later. You won't regret it. I PROMISE.

705am: Warm up, workout, cool down complete. Hit 'End Workout' on Nike+. Not feeling as amazing as I usually do after a workout but I am accounting that to lack of sleep. And then here comes my reward... As I'm wiping down the equipment I hear on my iPod...

"...Congratulations. You have completed a new personal best for the mile"

Hell YES! That's what I'm talkin' about!!! Oh Real Me, you always know what's best :)



SIDENOTE: Today so far I have eaten:
-- 6oz yogurt
-- 1 banana
-- coffee, no sugar, with skim milk
-- crispbread with vegemite (I'm Australian. It's my thing... let it go. lol)
-- 2 hard boiled eggs

NOTE TO SELF: Lesson still to learn - get to bed early when you know you have to be up early! When will you learn??