I'm Walking Away

My Leslie Sansone DVDs have arrived!

I finally saved up the cash & remembered to hit amazon.com and ordered 3 of them. Free shipping too! (Because who pays for shipping these days, really!)

So here we go! No more excuses...

Daylight Savings ended & it's dark out all the time? Solved!
No space in teeny NYC apartment? Solved!
No exercise equipment? Solved!

Even the time crunch is solved because even just a mile will do wonders. Especially if it's in the morning. It will fire up my metabolism at the start of the day and as long as I eat consistantly and in small portions, and drink lots of water, I'm able to keep it burning at maximum rate. And hey, just a mile at whatever point in the day is better than nothing!

I only have 1 Leslie Sansone walking DVD and that I got as a freebie when I was still with Nutrisystem. But I knew that if this was truly the best solution for me then I was going to need options. Lots and lots of variety options!

I got the Walk At Home* series; they seemed to be the latest (because I can't stand out of date aerobic music) and the cheapest too (I'm a student again, cheaper is better!). I got:

-- 5 Mile Fat Burning Walk: Because 5 miles gives me the most options for if I want to do 1, 2, 3, 4, or 5 miles plus who doesn't want to burn fat?!

-- 5 Day Slim Down: This is 5 separate 1-mile workouts. I'm a realist; chances are most mornings I'm only going to have time for 1 mile. So the more options, the better!

-- Walk Your Belly Flat: This one is only 3 miles but it includes ab work and you all know how much I obsess over not only wanting a flat belly but strong abs! (the only other DVD workout series I've invested in is Hip Hop Abs which I LOVE, but unfortunately no longer have the space since I moved into this apartment. Unless I tip my bed on it's side & push it against the wall. While yes, this would also be a good workout in itself, it's just a pain in the friggin' butt and I don't love hip hop abs THAT much as to massacre my bedroom on a daily basis)

So now I'm all set!

Oh, and I did one mile this morning. So can I just say... YAY!!! After weeks of setting my alarm only to hit snooze, this morning I FINALLY got up when the alarm went off AND worked out (I say "AND worked out" because the number of times I did get up without hitting snooze but instead of working out had an extra cup of coffee is ridiculous). GO ME! :D

But now that my new DVDs have arrived, I am anxious to get home & try them out!

Warning: I may be sore tomorrow so brace yourself for some potential whining about it. But I promise it will only be sprinkled in between how great I feel and how on track I am.

PS. I'm at work right now & every hour I am doing 20 modified push ups up against the wall behind me. I'm so proud of me right now. It's rare that I'm feeling so motivated - gotta run with it!

*I feel like I've heard a lot about her Walk Away the Pounds series. Is there a major difference? I'm guessing not, but if there is, anyone care to fill me in? I'm sure I will end up buying all her DVDs anyway, but any comments or advice on any of her DVDs or something similar would be really appreciated. Thanks muchly!

Day 6

Sweet Success... 13,347 steps!

Slowly Striving... missing some fruit servings. I think I need to buy fruit juice again. It's better not to drink your calories & of course fruit is better cause you're getting some fiber, but juice is a better solution than nothing at all. Money & (lack of) time (to shop) are also two issues, but I am doing all that I can with those two right now. I'm trying to not let them get in my way too much and/or bring me down.

Thoughts... I was under the impression that you want to hit 10,000+ steps 3 times a week. Um, no: Apparently you should be hitting 10,000+ everyday! Yikes! I give myself a daily minimum of 5,000. But seeing as I consistant hit 6,000+ I think I should up it to 7,000+ a day. So if I increase it each week hopefully I should be hitting 10,000 steps daily by the end of November. Wow. OK, let's see what happens.... (cause I gotta say, a foot rub would go over sooo well right now, and that was only 1 day of 10,000+)

I'm Making It Personal

One of my fabulous teachers at massage school is also a personal trainer. Unfortunately it is a conflict of interest for her to train a student (damn! because I swear she is the Latina version of Jillian Michaels and probably knows how to make me sweat, cry, and throw up all at the same time) but she said she has some people she can recommend and asked would I prefer a woman or a man?

As someone who has never had a personal trainer this made me stop and think. Which WOULD I prefer? I want a woman for the obvious reasons that she can relate to me and my wants and needs in a way a man just can't. On the other hand, I get along much better with guys than with girls on the whole (all my friends (whether gay or straight) are male, and the only female friend that I have regular contact with lives in Florida. FYI I'm in NYC. Hm, yeah...definitely more male than female friends! And I know they're not there to be my friend, but I still gotta LIKE them!) So I have some things to think about before I get some recommendations (opinions and advice welcome!). Especially cause I'm pretty sure I don't have the money to try them all before deciding (Wow, wouldn't that be amazing though!)

I don't know if this is something I can afford but I definitely want more information on it in general. If it is something I will go ahead with I imagine I only want to see them once every few weeks. I would want them to help me put together a workout schedule (that I can do on my own without them) that is challenging as well as flexible and engaging. Then check in with them once a month or so and have them see where I'm at and adjust, increase, build upon... well basically to do what it is they do!

On the other hand, she also said that if I just need some ideas for how to fit it into my schedule and what kind of exercises to do, she'd be happy to sit down with me and discuss that for free over a coffee sometime. (Wow. I love her!)

Have I mentioned how much I love massage school?

The teachers and other students I've met are great (this includes the new bestie (who is still totally cute lol) who gave me some great guy advice the other day. Bless!) But mostly I love how conscious it makes me of my body both inside and out. It makes me want to put good things in, and makes me want to strengthen it even more than I did before. It makes me appreciate that we are all built differently and come in lots of different shapes and sizes and the most important thing is to be comfortable in the skin you're in. I'm not comfortable yet but I know I will be. I just need a little help and I'm slowly getting over my fear of asking for it.

It's also a great motivator to lose weight. Having to get almost completely naked at least once a week with nothing but a towel and have classmates massage you, pushing through those layers of fa... err, flesh... to get to the muscle below? Yep. Definitely a BIG motivator to drop the weight!

You Can Take the Girl Out of the Blog...

Oh my! Ever since classes started I am one busy, busy girl! But don't worry, I have stayed faithfully on track. If anything, that's the reason I wasn't blogging - every spare second was taken up being as healthy as possible in the given circumstances!

Hopefully more to come on my busy little bumblebee happenings later... right now I just really wanted to post some runs! I think I'm ready for week 3 of c25k. I kind of want to do week 2 one last time; I'm not sure if that's because I want to make certain I'm ready to move on, or because perhaps I'm scared to. So far c25k is surprisingly, almost eerily!, easy!

PS. After mentioning to a friend that I just improved on my fastest mile time, he challenged me to run a mile in under 8 minutes. Now, I'm a long way off from that, not to mention it's a little unfair seeing as he's uber buff, fit, and a bit of a gym junkie and he can only do a mile in about 10 minutes. (OK he's a little lazy on the cardio, but I still see him as a gym junkie. And yes, he's a little bit yummy as well! All the deliciousness with none of those messy calories!) Plus he's 6'1 and I'm only 5'3! Hello?! I have shorter legs! But he doesn't seem to care. And honestly? Neither do I. I'm still up for the challenge!

I am not sure what I get if I meet this challenge because we are still working out the details, and to be perfectly honest I am not sure exactly why he is challenging me to do this. Part of me thinks it's the wannabe Personal Trainer and lover of all things fitness in him wanting to see me excel, part of me thinks he's just being a ass (because boys can be dumb!) and throwing it out there half as a joke and half thinking I can't do it (and if that's even remotely true, I'll show him!!!), and part of me thinks (& I'm not afraid to admit that this is my favourite reason!) I know he thinks I'm hot now so he can hardly imagine how smokin' hot I'll be if I'm fit enough (and light enough!) to run a mile in 8 minutes or under :)

It won't happen overnight but it WILL happen!

Dead without Deadlines

I think it's time to start setting more mini-goals WITH dates attached.

I think I stopped when I was failing them more often than not and it was really starting to get me down.

But it's time to slap myself and snap out of it (did anyone else just picture Cher in Moonstruck?) Deadlines will push me to succeed. And if I fail the deadline it does not mean I failed myself!!! Quite the opposite! The only way I fail is without trying at all.

So! Another mini-goal: I am currently on week 2 of c25k. That means week 9 is the last week of October. So by October 31st I should be able to run 5k! No stopping, no walking, no cheating, just running!!!

Does this mean I get a detention?

I have a very long day today, or at least longer than I'm used to: 9am-10pm. So when my alarm went off at 5:55am for my morning workout, I reset it and opted for an extra hour of sleep. Was that bad?

I am only supposed to run on alternate days with the c25k program and I know I was planning on a cardio session, so that's not a bad thing. But I really should have got in some resistance and strength work, which I am terrible at keeping up with. Hmm.

Meanwhile sleeping in on a work day felt very strange indeed. Skipping my workout felt like I was doing something 'naughty'... like ditching class or eating the last cookie. So I definitely feel more rested, but a little strange nonetheless. Almost like I should feel grateful for not getting caught. Or perhaps I didn't get away with it... we shall see.

So perhaps I need to find another solution. This is the first of many 13hour days ahead for me as I attempt something I've never done before: go to school full time AND work full time. And I plan on still eating right, getting enough exercise in, AND still trying to get enough sleep (that one might actually be the toughest come to think of it)

Looks like I have some scheduling and planning to do...

SIDENOTE: Woke up again last night in the middle of the night and found myself at the refrigerator. At first I thought it was not eating enough during the day but I am eating all the food on my plan, so perhaps it's a bad habit I need to break afterall...?

PS. Although if my food plan is 1700 calories and I'm burning about 400 in a workout doesn't that mean I'm only consuming around 1300 calories? Is that a good deficit or is 1700 already a deficit? Definitely a good question for my JC consultant on Thursday.

Must've been the bikini pics...

How could I forget??! I got a new personal best for the mile this morning: 13.58

woot! woot!

STOOPID!!!

I ruined my own run this morning! I could kill myself! I felt so angry and disappointed at the same time. In fact, I still am feeling disappointed. Let me start at the beginning and take you on the whole journey...

Got up at 6am. I was at the park by 630am. I was feeling great. Early mornings do that to me. Partly cause there's something so exhilarating yet peaceful about early mornings and partly cause I'm still impressed when not only do I get up early, but I get up and run. Call it 'Fat Girl Mentality' but sometimes I still can't quite believe that I do that.

After a 5 minute warm up walk I'm off for my first interval run. Dodge the dog walker with 5 dogs. Overtake a runner - woohoo (OK, so he was about 80 years old but I still overtook him!) Oh dammit, should have worn my other sports bra (yes, I play favorites, especially with my workout clothes). Then I start having this weird feeling. It kinds hurts. I'm not sure what it is. I put it down to my body just waking up and keep going.

As I'm walking off my first interval I can't help feeling that this doesn't feel right. The paranoid fat girl in me is worried I'm having a heart attack. But that's not quite it. It feels lower. It's time to start interval #2 and decide to push on. I'm sure it will go away...

Well I barely made it through the second interval. Something was wrong and it was ruining my run. The first emotion was surprisingly anger. I was annoyed i couldn't run. I had no idea what was wrong. It was almost like I felt like throwing up. Oh bugger is that it?? Crap, am I... pregnant? Oh shit shit shit! But how?? We were careful... We always are... Do I need to swing by the drugstore on the way home?? But I didn't bring any money... Argh! What to do... What to do...

Then I realized. Wait, didn't I have cup of coffee before my run? Usually I have nothing but a few sips of water. But today for some reason I chugged 3 cups of water and had a coffee. What was I thinking?? I think that's just it: I WASN'T thinking. So does that mean...? Could it be? Is this just... Indigestion??

Thank Jebus, Mary Kate, and Ashley Olsen I am not pregnant. But that doesn't bring my run back!

I walked the rest of the way and was feeling much better by the end. So I got in a 30 minute walk instead. Not a complete loss. But definitely a lesson learned!

PS. I know I will look back at this and laugh. "is it a Heart attack?? Is it Pregnancy?? Nope, just indigestion". Sigh! But right now all I want is a do-over!

Sidenote: sometimes celibacy seems like a really good alternative to having a minor freak out every other month!

Kicking Some Interval Butt!

Hey! c25k! Yeah, week 2! I'm talking to you!

I just want to say..... HA! Take that week 2 of c25k! I thought at times during that 30 minutes you were going to get the better of me, but I am stronger than you and I persevered and you were over before I knew it and guess what? I was still standing on the other side! So take that! Neener-neener-neener!

Look at me go! woot! woot! [insert happy dance here]

(although, I must admit you challenged me enough to make me think I might need/want to do 2 weeks of week 2 before moving onto week 3. But that's OK. It will just give me more time to build my strength so I can beat your sorry excuse for a cousin, week 3, into the ground as well!)

With sweaty determination,
Faithfully,
105 xx

Oh Yeah? Make Me!

I didn't go for my run this morning, I got an extra hour of sleep instead.

And for once, I'm not beating myself up about it (well, not completely anyway). Evidently I needed the extra hour of sleep.

I'm tired, cranky, crabby, bloated, and defensive for no reason. I'm just thankful this isn't a 'lighting quick temper' month or a 'burst into tears over my pen falling off the desk' month.

Part of me is disappointed because I was going to move on to week 2 of c25k this morning. But Running-Me can suck it... er, um, I mean... 'But alas, it will have to wait until next workout'.

...It's just one of those days.

Back in the Game!

Alarm goes off.
I turn it off.
I contemplate going back to sleep.
Wait, I am experiencing déjà vu.
This happened yesterday morning, & I remember how mad and upset I was at myself.
Not again.
Not today.

Success! Up and out the door at 630am to get my wog on! I feel great!
Most of all, I'm excited about my next workout. I finally feel ready to move on to week 2 of c25k. Watch this space...

Start Immediately. No Exceptions.

Why didn't I work out this morning??? Grr!! I am so mad at myself right now!!!

Although I did have a much needed sleep in. I haven't been getting much sleep these days. I'm not too sure what that's about.

Truth be told, I am feeling fat and sloth-like. I need to run! (damn sunburn) I also need to go back to Jenny Craig. This past month has been a refreshing break from it, but now I am ready to get back to the no-brainer diet.

Here's something interesting: when I follow Jenny Craig exactly, I lose weight. Sometimes a lot. If I fudge it, or skip it, or substitute it, etc, the results aren't as great, if there are even results at all! So why do I cheat? I'm not just cheating my diet, I'm cheating me. Am I weak? Am I scared? Why do something so stupid? Definitely all good questions and I don't have a solid answer for it yet. In the meantime, I am determined to follow the program down to the last lettuce leaf if it will in some way get me off this damn plateau!

Part of me wants to say tomorrow is a brand new day. A fresh start. Luckily I read something in my horoscope that I feel can be applied directly here. In fact, it was a quote:

“To change one's life: start immediately. Do it flamboyantly. No exceptions.”

- William James

Well, I think Will is right. Why start tomorrow when I can start immediately? Unfortuantely I am at work until 11pm (Grr! Only adding to my frsutration!) So no brisk walk at dusk, but what I can do is drink this 1.5L bottle of water I have here and eat the yummy salad I just ordered for dinner, bypass the bar on the way home from work, get lots of Zzzz's, and get that walk in first thing tomorrow.

No excuses!

PS. One of the best things about Vegas is the extra incentive and motivation: when I go there next summer, I want to be wearing a bikini! No exceptions.

Back To It!

I'm not feeling quite ready to post, but I think that's even MORE of a reason I should!

Why Am I not ready to post? Because I'm not quite back into my healthy routine. But maybe blogging comes first, not last. Maybe this will help refocus me, get my butt to the grocery store and my hands back on those weights.

I had a lovely time in Las Vegas. I absolutely love it there and find myself searching the Vegas job ads and the real estate market each time I return home. I love New York but it's like I'm having a sordid love affair with Sin City on the side. It's OK though... the Big Apple knows about it and we're cool.

But now I'm back and that means now it's back to it! Up off your big butt, put down that mimosa and WORK IT!

Unfortunately what happens in Vegas doesn't quite stay in Vegas... I got sunburnt on my back quite badly and it's making working out - specifically interval running (my favourite!!!) - really difficult. I hear myself say that, I catch myself thinking it, and it sounds like it's just Fat Me talking so Real Me steps in: 'pfft! What a load of crap! You're making excuses! Get out there and run that a$$ off!'

Then I try put on my crossback sports bra (with or without the weight problem, my girls need the support! Especially while running!) and I yelp in pain! My back doesn't even want clothes on it let alone a regular bra, and most certainly not my sports bra! Humph. Fooey! I'm a little lost for alternatives right now, which isn't helping to get me uber back on track and back into the game.

On the bright side? My eating was pretty good while I was away. I didn't splurge or go nuts and watched my portions (could have used more veggie servings though) and despite my drinking and being surrounded by cigarette smoke at the casinos, at the pool, well basically everywhere(!), I did not feel the need to smoke. It didn't gross me out, it didn't give me cravings or make my mouth water. I was just indifferent; a little put off by the smoke (like most non-smokers are - woohoo! Does that make me closer to being one of them??) but other than that - nothing. It's both great and slightly eerie how easy this quit has been... it's really like my body AND my mind were both 100% ready to quit at the exact same time.

Down side? I drank. A lot. (you didn't think I was going to acknowledge that I just said that above, did ya?) Well there's all my extra calories right there! (and then some, probably!) And maybe it would have been ok if it was the occasional light beer or a smart glass of wine with dinner. But oh no! This is me in Vegas!! Come on now! Give me some credit. And hey, I was on vacation, right? For my birthday. Hmm...

(Had a quiet little birthday dinner with a few close friends when I got back. Again, watched the portions and only had 1 slice of cake, not 3)

But I gotta say, I love anywhere where I can order a long island iced tea before noon without judgement. (just please take my phone away from me. Drunk texting and/or dailing is never a pretty thing)

Do I Need to Get All Jillian Michaels On My Ass?

Question:

I currently workout 30 minutes a day 6 times a week. That's 3 cardio sessions and 3 weights session on alternating days with one day off a week to rest.

But! I have been doing this for 2 weeks religiously now, and while my muscles are a little sore and are definitely getting a workout, I am not seeing a result on the sclae.

Now, I am the FIRST to say 'Good God girl! Only 2 weeks??? Patience petal, it will happen!!!... Sheesh" however, it got me thinking...

Firstly that usually embarking on a new routine is a shock to the system and therefore some sort of immediate signs of progress while not expected are always nice. But i'm thinking thanks to my typical 5lb weight gain before that time of the month PLUS that I'm quitting smoking is going to make my efforts through exercising take a little longer to show.

Secondly, I am wondering that even if I wasn't bloated up and feeling like a floatation device, and even if I wasn't a recovering nicotine junkie, is 30 minutes 6 times a week enough to see substantial weight loss?

Part of me says yes, because it's always worked in the past. But maybe that's the problem. Whenever I stick with a workout regime it's always been 30min 6x/wk. Do I need to be pushing myself harder?

Especially if my weight is not really going down, could upping the amount of exercise help kick me out of maintainence-meanderings and back into some losing-lovin'?? Or would it do more harm than good?

I remember reading somewhere that Jillian Michaels said if you are serious about losing you need a make a commitment to 60 minutes a day (obviously if you have to break that up, that's fine too) I think it was in her first book , Winning By Losing, that I read that but I'm not positive.

I'm not sure what the right answer is even if there is a 'right' answer. Maybe I just need to push myself harder in general? Maybe just increase the cardio to 45 or 60 minutes a session? Maybe wait till I debloat and see if there's a difference? Hmm... Questions, questions...

Any advice?

The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly

The good? I have survived Day 1 of not smoking! Plus I still went to the gym and got in some cardio.

The bad? I am a mess. I need a distraction yet I can't focus on anything long enough for it to really distract me. The nap helped. But I can't nap the whole time!

The ugly? I decided it was OK to have some m&m's because it is better than smoking. Very, Very, VERY bad decision! Now, not only do I feel guilty as hell (they didn't even taste that good!) but I feel a little ill, and I can't even have a cigarette to take away the icky feeling (it usually helps). ARGH!


The solution? I am going for a walk around the block to clear my head. Maybe it will help.

Hanging in there. I know from experience the second 24hours is much worse than the first (Oh Jebus help me!)

5k The Sequel

Before I continue babbling on whilst still under the influence of my post-workout high, I should tell you that I love interval training on the treadmill. It is by far my favourite form of cardio. Part of the reason I love it so much is that no matter what size I was in the past - fat, thin, fit, pudgy - I have always hated running. Loathed it in fact. Wouldn't even run to catch the bus, just on principle (Yeah, I'm stubborn like that).

Fast forward to the present: suddenly, I want to run. I WANT to be a runner. Why? Because I've never wanted that before. Because I thought it was impossible. Because I had convinced myself that running is great for some but I wasn't one of them. Because accomplishing it will prove to myself that the sky is the limit. Because becoming a runner will in some small way in my quirky little world mean that I made the impossible possible.

So as someone who enjoys walking away the pounds, I figured my best bet was wogging or interval training. I got really into it too. But usually, like most things, it's a case of 'use it or lose it'. But after this morning's surprisingly successful workout, I think it's time to consider doing another 5k.

I have done 5k once before. It was on April 29 of this year, and the only reason I did it was because I was determined to have a time listed under 5k on my nike+. Having a blank 10k I can handle (for now), but a blank 5k just wasn't cutting it.

In those days I would usually bargain with myself. I would be allowed to stop once I hit 2 miles, or 40 minutes, or whatever the goal was I felt like setting that day. But that day was different. Even though I was exhausted, even though I wanted to stop, I would not let myself. I was on a mission. I didn't care if I had to walk the whole thing, or if it took 3 hours, I was going to get it done.

Turns out I managed to complete it in under an hour. And I remember feeling like I had really accomplished something. But I also know I felt like I could have pushed a little harder. Now that I knew I could do it, I needed to know if I could improve on it.

I think that time to improve has finally come! I want to see if I can beat my last time. And if I don't, well at least I can say I did another 5k!


A run from my past...

The Real Me Always Knows Best

6am: woke up

615am: yogurt and banana in my belly, preceeded to have the following arguement with myself...

Fat Me: But I don't wanna go to the gym!
Real Me: No! You're going!
Fat Me: But I don't feel like it. I'm so tired. I didn't get enough sleep.
Real Me: Just GO. Just get on the treadmill. 10 minutes of walking. If you still feel this way, I promise, I will let you off the hook.
Fat Me: Urrrrg...
Real Me: C'mon... otherwise you got up early for nothing.
Fat Me: OK, fine! But just 10 minutes. Then we're going to have another talk.

635am: On treadmill...

Fat Me: Oh, that wasn't so bad.
Real Me: See, I knew you could do it!
Fat Me: Honestly, I'm really not in the mood. But I'm here, so I might as well go for it. Hell, let's even do intervals.
Real Me: Awesome! You won't regret this. Even if you're sore later. You won't regret it. I PROMISE.

705am: Warm up, workout, cool down complete. Hit 'End Workout' on Nike+. Not feeling as amazing as I usually do after a workout but I am accounting that to lack of sleep. And then here comes my reward... As I'm wiping down the equipment I hear on my iPod...

"...Congratulations. You have completed a new personal best for the mile"

Hell YES! That's what I'm talkin' about!!! Oh Real Me, you always know what's best :)



SIDENOTE: Today so far I have eaten:
-- 6oz yogurt
-- 1 banana
-- coffee, no sugar, with skim milk
-- crispbread with vegemite (I'm Australian. It's my thing... let it go. lol)
-- 2 hard boiled eggs

NOTE TO SELF: Lesson still to learn - get to bed early when you know you have to be up early! When will you learn??