From Fattie to Hottie... my journey to lose 105lbs in the next 365 days
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Non-Scale Victories are SOOO Much Sweeter!
I'm just going to come straight out with it:
Today I popped into one of these!<<-----------------------------------------
I couldn't believe it! I don't remember when I stopped being able to do a Standing Split but I do remember the last time I was able to do one with no problems. It was around the time when I was still dancing: so around 18 years old. I'm now 27. While my friends tonight were happy for me, no-one could understand why I was SOO excited about this discovery. Because it meant so many things to me, & as much as I love my new friends dearly, that's just it: they're new. They don't know everything about me (yet).
So there I was in massage class, and I always tend to get a little restless in our practical classes. I think it's the yoga pants and t-shirt uniform and being so aware of my body and everyone elses' bodies, it makes me want to dance, jump around, stretch, and just basically be active!
Well tonight we were working on Range of Motion and of course everyone has different ranges and levels of flexibility. Totally understandable and normal; it's what makes you YOU & what trains us to be good Massage Therapists: Understanding that every BODY is different. I mentioned to CSB that I wish I was still flexible enough to do a standing split. He & another friend asked what I meant. So I grabbed my right instep of my foot with my right hand and said "It's when you grab your foot like this, and you try straighten your leg but I haven't been able to do it for years.... See..." I slowly started to demonstrate and it was clear that my right leg just didn't want to straighten while my right hand was holding it. Poop!
Then I had a "What if..." moment and I very slowly bent my left leg (that I was standing on) and tried to straighten my right leg again. All 3 of us were a little surprised when amazingly my right leg straightened! The final test? Could I hold my right leg straight in the air while straightening my left leg?..... YES! YES I CAN!
WOOT! WOOT! SUCCESS!!!
My gf was surprised & happy for me, I was elated, and CSB was surprised too until he rolled his eyes & turned away (I caught him blushing a little! haha... Why is it boys hear "splits" and their mind goes to one place: the gutter?). I released, I did a little happy dance, and then I did it again to make sure it wasn't a fluke. Nope, not a fluke! Did another standing split like it was nothing! It felt like I really achieved something today: for the first time in a while, I felt like I made real progress.
First off, this means I'm getting more flexible again. Working on getting back to doing the splits effortlessly is something I have been slowly working towards. There's something so liberating and almost empowering to be a "big girl" but show that your size has nothing to do with being flexible.
Secondly, I'd like to think I've lost some inches. Depending on what kind of stretch your doing, there are certain things you just can't do no matter how flexible you are because your rolls of fat get in the way! So either I lost a few inches or got uber flexible; possibly a combination of both. Either way, it's win/win.
Lastly, it's something I haven't been able to do since I was a small size 14 and was fit enough to dance in the World Championships. It was very nostalgic for me in a way. It was a big flashback to another time in my life when I was a size and of a fitness level that I was comfortable with and could do all kinds of things that I took for granted. And today, I earned one of those things back. It felt amazing.
I had forgotten how much more rewarding a non-scale achievement is. Sure, seeing certain numbers is enough to make anyone jump and shout, but those non-scale ones can't be forgotten. For me, they are twice as special. Perhaps because they don't seem to happen as frequently. Regardless, they are not just numbers measuring my progress. They are progress you can see & feel & really connect to. Not just a mind game, which the numbers on the scale can be for me at times. I'm not saying it's altogether a a bad thing though (hey there's nothing like walking around knowing you lost x amount of pounds this week!) but there's something about running an extra mile, fitting into a smaller size, or surviving a party and staying perfectly on plan that has more heart to it.
It inspired me that I'm inching closer to a life I used to have: of fitness, strength, flexibility, and body confidence. But more so it inspires my imagination of what those things will actually be in reality and what they will mean to me this time around. No doubt it will be very different. I am sure my body has changed a lot in 10 years, and not just because I put it under the stress of carrying around so much weight. It's exciting to feel like I took a big step towards that today. I took a big step into my past and into my future simultaneously and it felt incredible!
I am going to lose 105lbs in the next 12 months, and I'm going to do it the old fashioned way. Healthy eating, exercising regularly, balanced lifestyle, and the occasional venting and/or gushing about the whole damn thing.