And I don't mean the late night munchies in front of the TV kind. I mean the middle of the night kind. The kind where you wake up, eat, and go back to sleep. Talk about unhealthy!
It's almost scary how long I've been doing this and not really questioning it. That is to say, i do question it, and i know there's something up with that, but i'm surprised and a little shocked that i haven't mentioned it yet (because i KNOW I've done it more times than i care to remember since starting this blog). Wow, denial much?
In fact! There are times a couple of years back where it would feel like I WOKE UP in front of the refrigerator! No, not curled up on the floor in front of it, I mean standing in front of it with my hand on the door holding it open staring into it (as you do when you are searching for answers and not really searching for food). It was a little scary because I think I slept-walked or was half asleep when I would do it. On those occasions I remember either blinking a few times & realizing what I was doing or as if I was coming to after staring into space... only that the space I was staring into was the fridge!
But I digress, because that isn't the case at the moment. In the times I've done this in the past few months I say it's one of or a combination of the following things (and they are probably in this order too)
1.) aftermath of my diet from that day.
Whether I didn't eat all my food or whether I ate off plan & now my blood sugar is spiking/dropping, I think this is the major reason I usually wake up in the middle of the night craving food. Either I'm starving, or I'm looking for a quick hit to 'fix' the cravings.
2.) I'm thirsty.
I think if I kept more accurate records of when I had the midnight munchies (and I plan to from now on!) I bet they often happened the night of a day where I didn't have all my water. It's amazing how often my body, well it's me really, cannot tell the difference between hunger and thirst.
3.) Bad habits die hard.
This could just be a bad habit that was years in the making and now I have to undo it. What makes it even harder is apparently I'm half-asleep or maybe even asleep when I start to do it so how can you be "conscious" of your decisions if you're not even conscious! Good God, 'sleep-eating'... I think that's the worst scenario ever!
I am thinking that if I eat on plan (ie. healthy foods, & nothing that makes my energy spike and drop like crazy) and drink lots and lots of water then the only reason I should need to get up in the middle of the night will be to pee not to eat. Plus! if I get exercise back into my daily routine that
You know, it feels good (but shameful) to admit all of this, but this is what this journey is all about. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I promised myself when I started this blog as much as I am my own cheerleader it's important not to overlook the ugly. I'll just have to keep The Ugly Duckling in mind!
Plan of Attack? Check!
Execution of plan? Hrm, here comes the tricky part...
But you have to be uncomfortable to grow. As much as this journey sometimes sucks, the results are ALWAYS worth it. I need to keep that in mind more often.