Sometimes learning Shiatsu massage annoys the crap out of me. It can be completely backwards compared to typical Western Medicine & learning both in tandem can be confusing. But then there are days like today where I love Shiatsu. Because after all, it is about the Mind, the Body, and the Soul all being both independent & interdependent.
Without going into the whole "Introduction to Eastern 101" we were talking about elements & one of the components of one of the elements is fear. And it's when my teacher said 'it's not procrastination, that's different. We're talking a real fear of even getting something started' that I really sat up & started paying attention.
Imagine being so afraid of something that you don't even want to get started? That sounds so tragic to me. Something that I would expect to be written by Shakespeare & have it be one of the great all-time tales of tragedy! But I suspect it happens far more often than we care to admit. We're even terrified to admit that we are afraid sometimes! Afraid that we will fail, afraid that it will absolutely change our world, afraid that maybe our world won't change at all.
And then sometimes it's not YOU has has the fear. Maybe you're ready & enthusiastic. But what if other people project their fears onto you? 'You can't do that, you'll never get there'... 'even if you can do it, what happens if you gain it all back?'... 'wow, that's a lot of weight you're planning to lose! that's going to be so hard, glad I'm not you!'
OK, first off, if your friends are saying statements exactly like those above, I recommend you get new friends ASAP. Those are the only extreme examples I could think of, but I'm sure you get my point. People doubt, or put their own fears and insecurities into you. And before you know it, that hopeful, eager part of you that was ready to overcome any obstacle is suddenly consumed with thinking thoughts that only encourage doubt and/or fear.
So! My point is I learned something today. Fear is F.E.A.R. That stands for:
Regardless of whether someone forces a hypothetical experience on us or whether we force it upon ourselves at the end of the day they only appear to be real. But they're not.
I would like to think that I'm not scared to losing weight. But maybe I am. Maybe I'm so terrified I can't even see that maybe it's fear that holds me back. It seems so strange though. Because I want to be fit and happy with my body more than anything. There is never a day that goes by that I wish I didn't have this belly, or the side-of-boob/underarm fat roll, or that my butt didn't jiggle uncontrollably. But maybe I've had these things for so long I'm terrified of what will change. What if my world is turned upside-down. Or perhaps worse, what is nothing change? Nothing at all?
These are all very scary thoughts. I just need to remember that Forced Experiences Appearing Real are NOT real. They are not going to come true. Not even close! I promise myself to keep an eye on this, if I am indeed afraid of something. Because that's no way to live. And it's definitely not a way to succeed. In fact, it's a way to ensure you fail. But I'm not going to fail. I'm going to persevere; I'm going to survive. I'm going to slip and fall and pick myself right back up & learn from those experiences and keep on going. Never stop until I reach the end. Why? Because fear doesn't live here anymore!
July 27th, 2017 A Practice of Learning
11 hours ago