I ruined my own run this morning! I could kill myself! I felt so angry and disappointed at the same time. In fact, I still am feeling disappointed. Let me start at the beginning and take you on the whole journey...
Got up at 6am. I was at the park by 630am. I was feeling great. Early mornings do that to me. Partly cause there's something so exhilarating yet peaceful about early mornings and partly cause I'm still impressed when not only do I get up early, but I get up and run. Call it 'Fat Girl Mentality' but sometimes I still can't quite believe that I do that.
After a 5 minute warm up walk I'm off for my first interval run. Dodge the dog walker with 5 dogs. Overtake a runner - woohoo (OK, so he was about 80 years old but I still overtook him!) Oh dammit, should have worn my other sports bra (yes, I play favorites, especially with my workout clothes). Then I start having this weird feeling. It kinds hurts. I'm not sure what it is. I put it down to my body just waking up and keep going.
As I'm walking off my first interval I can't help feeling that this doesn't feel right. The paranoid fat girl in me is worried I'm having a heart attack. But that's not quite it. It feels lower. It's time to start interval #2 and decide to push on. I'm sure it will go away...
Well I barely made it through the second interval. Something was wrong and it was ruining my run. The first emotion was surprisingly anger. I was annoyed i couldn't run. I had no idea what was wrong. It was almost like I felt like throwing up. Oh bugger is that it?? Crap, am I... pregnant? Oh shit shit shit! But how?? We were careful... We always are... Do I need to swing by the drugstore on the way home?? But I didn't bring any money... Argh! What to do... What to do...
Then I realized. Wait, didn't I have cup of coffee before my run? Usually I have nothing but a few sips of water. But today for some reason I chugged 3 cups of water and had a coffee. What was I thinking?? I think that's just it: I WASN'T thinking. So does that mean...? Could it be? Is this just... Indigestion??
Thank Jebus, Mary Kate, and Ashley Olsen I am not pregnant. But that doesn't bring my run back!
I walked the rest of the way and was feeling much better by the end. So I got in a 30 minute walk instead. Not a complete loss. But definitely a lesson learned!
PS. I know I will look back at this and laugh. "is it a Heart attack?? Is it Pregnancy?? Nope, just indigestion". Sigh! But right now all I want is a do-over!
Sidenote: sometimes celibacy seems like a really good alternative to having a minor freak out every other month!
July 27th, 2017 A Practice of Learning
11 hours ago