One of the ultimate reasons I want to be fat free is because I no longer want fat to be an excuse.
I didn't think I ever used fat as an excuse. When I realized I sometimes do, I realized that it was happening in many more cases than I care to admit.
And I'm not talking about the run-of-the-mill 'I chose not to go to a party because I feel fat', even though that is a very valid form of using fat as an excuse. I'm talking about the sneaky ways being unhealthy and being unhappy about it can really sneak up on you and bite you in the butt. HARD. And not let go either. through DOUBT.
Doubt to me can be worse than an excuse. At least with an excuse you have made up your mind. "I am fat and that is why xyz can't happen". But with doubt you'll never know. And for me, it always boils down to if an event happened because I am fat then that could have been prevented from happening because fat is something you can prevent. (Make sense?)
Things like knowing I gave a great job interview but didn't get the job. Knowing that perhaps things won't work out with a guy because maybe we're not completely compatible. Not getting the same customer service as other people (whether this work for you or against you). All of these are great examples of me asking myself 'is it because I'm fat?'
No sooner than I ask the question that the seed of doubt is planted. And it really sucks. Cause you'll never really know for sure.
I am looking forward to the day that I can tell myself with complete confidence that I didn't get the job solely because there was a better candidate. Or I stopped seeing someone because we just aren't compatible. Or I got crappy customer service because this Sales Associate sucks. Yep, that will be a great day indeed!
PS. Although, it could also go the other way. I could be fat free and it helps me get the job, get the guy, and get the great customer service. And any or all of those things wouldn't be bad either.
July 27th, 2017 A Practice of Learning
11 hours ago