Monday, September 7, 2009

Labor & Labor Pains

Happy Labor Day everyone!

I'm feeling much, much better now that the ibuprofen has kicked in. And I have to say, I am off to a stellar start for the day! Got the laboring part in (Day 2 of week 2 of c25k can kiss my big jiggly butt!), & unfortunately you can put a big check next to the labor pains too (good god someone please just remove my uterus! It would be so much less painful than enduring these cataclysmic cramps!)

I am not sure how I got myself out the door this morning, nor in the shower and somewhat dressed for work; I should be in bed crouched over a hot water bottle in the fetal position & moaning like a dying cow while watching daytime television (I say 'somewhat dressed' because I am wearing sweats in public. Hey, it's a holiday and I'm at work and in muted pain, I'm allowed to look like a hot mess*). Actually, the only time I wasn't in pain today was during my run (well, I was I guess. But it's a different kind of pain)

I think I can thank my stellar start to the day to the bikini I purchased yesterday. Yep, a string bikini too. Yikes! I decided I should get one while they're on sale and so I can watch myself shrink into it over the comeing months. Not to mention those before pictures are going to be PRICELESS in motivating me!

I definitely wasn't wrong. I got home, put on the bikini (I felt like a hippo dressed in dental floss) was a little disappointed that the bottoms felt like they sort of fit already (I'm supposed to shrink into it, so I wanted it a little small). I took 4 photos: the front, the back, and each side view. I felt my breath catch in my throat as I reviewed them. Um, no! The bottom's most certainly do NOT fit!! There isn't just muffin top in this photo, it's the whole muffin and then some! And in the photo of my back, where did the string go? Oh I see - or rather I don't see - because it disappeared into that roll of fat! And are those dimples on my BELLY?? Oh good God, someone just shoot me now...

Well, after taking the "What's Your Motivation?" quiz over at Self Magazine, it turns out they were right & vanity IS my #1 motivator. I think I knew that and I've been avoiding it. After all, narcissism is not one of my favourite personality traits. But as the saying goes 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em' You have to work with what you have and turn it around to your advantage.

So vanity motivates me, huh? Well instead of wistfully picturing Future Me in a bikini, how about the stone cold reality of me NOW in a bikini? ACK! Just the sight of it makes me want to do a month's worth of interval running in the next 24 hours! Or just run.... run away as fast as I can from looking and daring to even imagine living another day looking like that. Either way, it's got me moving so I guess it's working!!

I may or may not post the dreaded bikini pics here. I haven't quite decided. Taking the photos for my own eyes only was a big enough slice of humble pie; posting them here would be like gorging on the whole pie and asking for seconds. I'm not sure I'm ready for that level of humilation.

Then again, in the spirit of turning thing around to my advantage, I guess I should see it not as shameful and embarassing but rather as a way of showing my commitment. My commitment to NOT look like this, and to never look like this ever again!

*Wearing sweats and/or looking like a hot mess in public is just asking to run into someone you know, or someone cute, or a combination of both. Wish me luck that today I am the exception to this rule!

PS. I am working on some progress pics though. Stay tuned...

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